The Myth of Resolutions
Here we are again at year’s end. The time when we have the opportunity to put the last year to rest and step into what is next in a powerful way.
I don’t know about you but I’ve always found New Year’s resolutions to be ineffective. The concept is sound but the frustration I box myself into when I try to keep them is so energy draining. Resolutions induce failure. I’ve found it much more effective to have a theme for the coming year instead of a list of rules I must force myself to (try to) live by. I offer how’s and why’s in the following article.
In my opinion New Year’s Day is the most important day of the year for which to be completely sober just because of the possibilities and power it holds… but don’t worry you can still participate in this exploration on January 2, if you played too hard last night. 
Choosing Your Theme
Resolution comes from the root word ‘resolve,’ which is defined in a number of ways:
- To come to a definite or earnest decision about
To determine to do something
To reduce or convert by breaking up or disintegration
To convert or transform by any process
To reduce by mental analysis
To settle, determine, or state formally in a vote or resolution
To deal with (a question, a matter of uncertainty, etc.) conclusively
To clear away or dispel (doubts, fears, etc.).
Some of those sound doable but most seem like they would either hurt or be counter productive to creating something useful. “To reduce by breaking up or disintegration.” Yikes. Let’s find a better way.
New Year’s Day represents the dawning of a new year. Yesterday’s hurts and disappointments, as well as the things we’ve grown out of, can be forever left behind. Instead of determining what you will or will not DO in the coming year, I encourage you to determine who you will and will not BE. That is, to set a theme for your year ahead. You could also call it a motto. If you must resolve to do something, resolve to stay in touch with who you are becoming as identified by your motto.
Your theme could be centered around finances, career, family, health and/or fitness, spirituality, self-image, centeredness, relationships and more. The topics are endless. The idea is to capture the essence of the next step in your evolutionary process. Your motto or theme should be completely and absolutely unique to you, and call you forth clearly and decisively.
Discovering Your Theme
One of the things that helps me discover my theme is to spend as much time as is necessary journaling about that which I’m (consciously and with purpose) leaving behind, and that which I sense I am stepping into. It’s an intuitive process.
Thankfully Bid Farewell
In the final scene of “First Knight,” a movie with Richard Gear and Sean Connery, a faction of folks stand on the shoreline watching as the remains of what once was floats out to sea on a raft. One of the knights then sets fire to it via flaming arrow. (I’m purposely being vague so I don’t spoil the movie if you haven’t seen it). Those remaining on shore have a ceremony to honor it and bid it farewell, and then turn around into the new life awaiting them.
I think those steps of closure are very sound:
- Put that which you don’t want, have outgrown, or is no longer useful to you on a figurative raft and set it to sea, or soaring to the sky in a balloon, into a bonfire, or other useful metaphor of release
- Honor that particular item (relational dynamic/way of being) which you are setting loose by means of words and/or ceremony
- Give tribute to the ways it has been useful in the past and/or who you are today because of it
- Bring to remembrance all the ways in which you are genuinely thankful, and bid it farewell
- Turn around and step into the new life that awaits you.
Once you do this, if you look closely you will begin to see an emerging pattern. THAT is the essence of your theme. Out with the old and in with the new. Then it is just a matter of choosing the wording.
Choose the wording for your theme strategically. Always word it in the positive in a way that calls you forth. Get quiet and get a sense of what is next for you in you. Your Highest and True Self already knows. Base your theme in reality. It is not a wish list.
Here are a few ideas, but PLEASE choose one that is uniquely your own or it will not have meaning for you.
- The year of Financial Strength
- The Vital New Me
- Calm in Every Storm
- Powerfully Persevering
- Curiosity at Every Turn
- Over the Top Playful and Joyous
Your theme becomes the window through which you will view every decision you make and every action you take. Viewing life through that window will cause you to adjust your actions and prioritize your thinking. Living in view of ‘Financial Strength’ is a lot different than resolving to get out of debt. A lifestyle created for ‘The Vital New Me’ is a lot more useful and empowering than “I will not eat any more brownies.” It’s all about chosing those things (including people) which are in alignment with who you are becoming.
After you have chosen your theme spend some time getting in touch with how you will feel and what will be possible for when you are living that way.
- How will you feel about yourself?
- How might people respond to you?
- In what ways will life be different/better/more?
If you’re not sick of writing by now, you might want to spend some time journaling about what you discover. It’s helpful to have it documented so when July rolls around and you’ve lost touch with all you’ve discovered today, you can come back and read it and be reminded.
