He sidled up alongside me on his bicycle… one long leg dragging to the ground leaving a line in the gray gravel of the path to reveal the pink dirt below. I guess that’s why he wore those sandals with the closed toe.
“You looked friendly. Just a crack of a smile when I went by. I thought maybe there was an opening,” says Abraham.
Ok. I’m game. Who is this guy and why is he so dang friendly.
“I just returned from India and I’m not used to people being so unfriendly.”
Ah, India. That explains a lot. But it didn’t really prepare me for the real reason for his friendliness.
“You married?”
“Yes. About 8 weeks now.”
“Is it a traditional marriage?”
Ok. What does that mean? “Gees. I hope not.” Whatever it means I don’t like the sound of it. I think I had one my last go-round of 30 years. Not thinking I want one of those again.
“I’m just asking because I’m in an open marriage. My wife and I see other people.”
Got it. He’s trying to pick me up… with a twist. I haven’t attracted that kind of attention in quite some time. I pretty much come across as unavailable. But I guess to ole Abraham it wouldn’t matter if I was unavailable or not.
Here’s the curious part. I had just finished writing an article about curiosity for my newsletter. About how curiosity is a complete not knowing. About looking at things in new ways. About not having right answers or set ideas of how things should be, but is instead about being open to new possibilities.
Don’t you love it when life gives you homework? Here was my chance to be absolutely curious about why Abraham did what he did and chose this way of relating. He told me about his wife’s two boyfriends and how at first she didn’t like the idea but does now. I told him I was more into going deep with one man than just having more surface sexual relationships with several.
At first we had a frank and honest exchange of ideas but about the second time around the lake I started feeling manipulated and coerced. He was doing his best to win me over to his way of thinking. It felt like I was being conquered with words. I once had a male friend who told me that guys have 3 needs: food, sex and conquering. Abraham was out to fill two of those.
“I’m feeling a need for my quiet time now, Abraham.” He reluctantly peddled away and I recapped the conversation shaking my head. That’s one of the weirdest things that’s happened to me in quite some time. Life is indeed curious.
